It’s Time To Take Care of You This Weekend

Self care is care provided “for you, by you.” It’s about identifying your own needs and taking steps to meet them. It is taking the time to do some of the activities that nurture you. Self care is about taking proper care of yourself and treating yourself as kindly as you treat others.

On an airplane, an oxygen mask drops in front of you. What do you do? As we all know, the first rule is to put on your own oxygen mask before you assist anyone else. Only when we first help ourselves can we effectively help others. Caring for yourself is one of the most important things you can do for yourself. It is also one of the easiest things to forget. But you benefit greatly from self care and so do others in your life.

Women spend much of their lives nurturing others. When we find ourselves focusing more on others than ourselves, we become worn out, stressed out and run down. For those of us who spend time helping and caring for others, it is too easy to neglect our own needs. It’s like “running on empty” when we don’t take the time to re-fuel.
We spend so much time and effort caring for our partners, children, pets, friends, family members, employers and employees. Add to that the numerous volunteer activities, errands, housework, family functions, meetings, etc.—and there isn’t much time left for caring for ourselves.

Women need to balance the stress and activity of daily life with activities that bring a sense of peace and well being to their minds and bodies. Women who neglect their own needs and forget to nurture themselves often become unhappy, have low self-esteem and feel resentment. Self care means treating yourself as a worthwhile person and showing that you are valuable, competent and deserving.

What are Some Examples of Self Care Activities?

Remember, practicing self care does not have to cost much. In fact there are many things that you can do that are free or affordable.

  • Talk openly with a trusted friend.
  • Sit outside and listen to the birds.
  • Practice breathing exercises (the library has books to help you with this). Make sure you are eating a well balanced diet
  • Get enough sleep
  • Make room in your life for a nap. Rest a while and “recharge”.
  • Make exercise a regular part of your routing (a 20 minute walk 3 times a week will do).
  • Take a warm bath/shower. Warm water is very soothing and relaxing for tight and tense muscles and for the mind.
  • Listen to music you enjoy.
  • Try a yoga class.
  • Journaling.
  • Read a good book recommended by a friend.
  • Plant a garden.
  • Buy yourself a little something—a flower, a candle to enjoy during your bath.
  • Make room in your schedule for attending a class to learn something new (pottery, a language, scrapbooking etc.)

Learning to manage it is another way to embrace self care, and you can start by creation a budget with purpose. Maybe you want to travel. Maybe you want to feel secure. Either way, make the goal about you, and not only will you feel better about it, you’ll also be more apt to stick to it, and therefore less stressed.

Taking care of your basic physical and emotional needs should really be the backbone for getting stuff done, but ironically, self care is usually the first thing to go. If it’s gotten to the point that you’ve perhaps even forgotten what it means to take care of yourself, these points should help you recover.

You Are Your Brand

 

YOU ARE YOUR BRAND. A lot of personal characteristics are GOING to be seen in your work… I mean, it is YOUR business.

So what’s the first step that you can take to work on inconsistency?

1. Start small, but make a weekly habit of a small task that you’d like to work on being consistent in. For example, start by implementing a small morning routine of waking up 30 minutes earlier than what you have been.

What’s the benefit of this? If you are able to wake up 30 minutes earlier, that give your 30 more minutes to either get something done towards your business, practice a small self-care method, or use that 30 minutes for some personal quiet time!

Once you’ve done this, work your way up the ladder adding other tasks to be consistent in.

It’s not your business that’s failing you… It’s you and your habits.

And as your personal development coach, I am here to tell you that you’ve got what it takes! I am holding you accountable from today forward, asking you to create one small task to work on consistency. 

SUCCESS FOR STRESS (THE STRESSED OUT WOMAN ENTREPRENEUR)

 

It’s a no brainer that when it comes to building your business, you’re going to deal with a nice amount of stress.

If you come into this business already stressed out, be prepared to have an overload.

What I have found as a personal development coach for women entrepreneurs is that a lot of women go in to this business not know what to be prepared for and not having the proper tools to managing stress.

Entrepreneurship is one of the top “jobs” that cause stress in a person’s life.

So if you came into this industry looking to get away from that… you’ve come to the wrong industry.

Luckily for you, I do have tips that can help you to better prepare and cope with the stress of being a woman entrepreneur!

  1. Try to practice gratitude whenever you can
  • When you first start working on your business, you can find yourself comparing your successes to someone else’s, which often leads to burnout, fatigue, high level stress, anxiety, unhappiness, and more. When you’re able to count each small success and be grateful for each little progression in not only your business, but your life and personal growth, you will find the journey of entrepreneurship a lot more pleasing and less stressful. It’s when you put certain parameters and “expectations” on yourself by comparing yourself to what someone else has done or is doing. Entrepreneurship is all about doing what works for you and wanting to be your own boss. Bring your own style of uniqueness into your business and have fun with it!
  1. Be a Positive Polly not a Negative Nancy
  • It seems easier said than done, I know. But what’s important as an entrepreneur is that you are training and developing your mind to see GROWTH and OPPORTUNITY in every situation that you face as an entrepreneur. I love the saying “when the mind is weak, you see things as a problem, when the mind is balanced, you see situations as challenges, when the mind is strong, you see situations as opportunities.” By strengthening your mind (meditation, stress management, self-care, personal development, guidance, positive affirmations) you are able to control your thoughts, look at every opportunity as a lesson, even what we would call “failures” as opportunities for growth. Instead of wallowing in the could’ves and should’ves. Now only are you helping your success, you’re also helping yourself to manage stress. The next time you see a situation as negative, tell yourself, “I can learn from this…”
  1. Practicing Self-care
  • THIS IS HUGE. Often times, entrepreneurs get so caught up in trying to pursue the success of their brand and business, they forget the most important assest – themselves. In order to be successful and continue being successful you MUST prioritize yourself and healthy habits such as sleep, healthy eating habits, limited amounts of caffeine and alcohol, exercise, periodic breaks from technology, etc. A truly successful person will strive to find an extreme balance in their life and business to help with stress moderation (for more information on how to practice self-care, contact me for a free 25 minute personal development consultation).

 

Stress is a part of life but it’s also a big part of being your own biz boss. Understand that if you’re able to manage your stress, success comes to you much easier and you ENJOY your success.

 

If this blog post is helpful for you, PLEASE leave a comment and let me know!

TIP FOR THE STRESSED WOMAN ENTREPRENEUR

If you run a business it’s a stressful job that can create emotional unrest. When you’re dealing with the anxiety of juggling both your personal life and your business, it can be overwhelming to say the least.

Entrepreneurs often juggle many roles and face countless setbacks–lost customers, disputes with partners, increased competition, staffing problems–all while struggling to make payroll.

If you find yourself struggling with anxiety, be open about your challenges. It’s important that you try to seek out a fresh perspective before you fall into a negative spiral, often times that fresh perspective may come in the form of a “bizz bestie,” “spouse,” or “personal development coach.”

If you find yourself struggling with anxiety, try to keep everything in perspective. Entrepreneurship is a deeply personal journey and it’s incredibly difficult to separate your individual identity from the business that you’re trying to create. Life, like business, is a journey full of ups and downs. The more distance you gain from a situation, the less painful it becomes, understanding that the bumps in the road, to shall pass helps to put things into perspective as an entrepreneur.

Understand, you’re not alone and that you will overcome. Find someone to talk to or seek out advice from a professional that can help you to develop effective coping skills for anxiety. No matter what, there’s always a solution.

4 Normal Signs of Toxic Relationship Behavior

Unfortunately, there’s no secret formula or hidden recipe for building a healthy relationship when you’re young. You learn from trial and error, and most of the time, we start off developing unhealthy relationship habits because we are too young to understand or know what a relationship is. Unhealthy relationship habits are baked into our culture. Women worship romantic love – you know the irrational romantic love that doesn’t truly exists? Men and women are raised to objectify each other and to objectify their relationships and with this type of mentality, partners are often seen as assets rather than someone to share mutual emotional support with.

Fortunately, there’s been a lot of psychological research into health and happy relationships the past few decades. Consistently through research, there are some top four common tendencies in a relationship that many couples think are healthy and normal, but are actually really toxic and destroying everything important and dear to you. So below, I will discuss the top four common tendencies. Be prepared for a shocker.

1. Dropping “hints” and other passive-aggressive behavior

WHAT IS IT: Instead of stating what you’re feeling or thinking, you try to nudge your partner in the direction of figuring it out on their own. You find small and petty ways to piss your partner off so you’ll then feel justified in complaining to them.

WHY IT IS TOXIC: It’s toxic because it shows that you’re not comfortable with an open line of communication. A person has no reason to be passive-aggressive if they feel safe expressing their feelings in a relationship.

WHAT YOU SHOULD DO INSTEAD: Openly state how you’re feeling. Make a clear statement that the other person isn’t responsible or obligated to them but that you’d love their support. If they truly love you, they’ll almost always be able to give it.

2. Holding the relationship hostage

WHAT IS IT: This is when a person has a simple complaint or criticism and blackmails the other person by threatening the commitment of the relationship as a whole. Example, if your partner feels like you’ve been cold towards them, instead of saying “I feel like you’re being cold sometimes,” they will say “I can’t date someone who is cold to me all of the time.”

WHY IS IT TOXIC: It’s emotional blackmail! It creates a lot of unnecessary drama in the relationship. Every minor issue in the flow of the relationship results in a perceived commitment crisis. It’s crucial for BOTH people in the relationship to know that negative thoughts and feelings can be communicated safely without threatening the relationship itself.

WHAT YOU SHOULD DO INSTEAD: It’s okay for you both to get upset with your partner or not like something about them. But you need to understand that committing to a person and always liking a person is not the same thing. Two partners who are capable of communicating feedback and criticism towards one another, only with judgment and understanding, will strengthen their commitment to one another in the long run.

3. Blaming Your Partner for Your Own Emotions

WHAT IS IT: Say you’re having a bad day and your partner isn’t being as loving or sympathetic to you as you’d like them to be, so you lash out at them for being insensitive and callous towards you. You’ve been having a crappy day and they have done nothing about it. THIS IS THE ISSUE.

WHY IS IT TOXIC: Blaming your partner for your emotion is a subtle form of selfishness, and a classic example or poor maintenance of personal boundaries. When you place your partner responsible for your own emotions and how you’re supposed to feel all of the time, you’re developing codependent tendencies. When someone begins to get upset, all personal desires go out the window because it is now your responsibility to make one another feel better. Codependency breeds resentment in a relationship.

WHAT YOU SHOULD DO INSTEAD: Take responsibility for your own emotions and expect your partner to be responsible for theirs. Any sacrifices should be made as an autonomous choice and not seen as an expectation.

4. Displays of “loving” jealousy

WHAT IS IT: This is when you get pissed off when your partner talks, touches, calls, texts, hang outs, or sneezes in the general vicinity of another person and then you proceed to take that anger our on your partner in attempts to control their behavior.

WHY IS IT TOXIC: This is craziness. It’s controlling and manipulative. It creates unnecessary drama and fighting. It transmits a message of a lack of trust in the other person. And to be honest, it’s demeaning.

WHAT YOU SHOULD DO INSTEAD: Trust your partner. Some jealousy is natural but excessive jealousy and controlling behaviors towards your partner are signs of your own person feelings of unworthiness and you should learn to confront those feelings and not force them onto those close to you. This can lead to pushing someone you love away.

Relationships can be very complicated and difficult. But few people know that there are some pretty clear signals to know if a relationship is going to work or not. If you’re wanting more information about how to develop a healthy relationship or how to get out of a toxic relationship Click Here for a free 25 minute consultation to receive advice or tips that can be beneficial towards your relationship!